Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Where did you go?

No posts for two months. No apologies. No excuse. No motivation.

Here's a brief update on how everything has been going. My body always feels like this:

But people think I'm this:

So my grades look like this:

This is always in my head:

While this is always in my heart:

And I can't believe that this got married:

I don't take all the exercise that I should, so I look like this:

That's how life is, so if you're inclined to judge, get the hell off my blog. Yes, my life and your life can be hard at the same time; it doesn't need to be a contest.

I'm failing school. I hate my grandparents because they choose not to do anything for themselves. My harp teacher refuses to give me the benefit of the doubt, and I always feel like a goober around her. Everybody wants something from me. I don't have a place to live or enough money to live off of. I'm tired of Utah. I hate being put in a box by most everyone around me. I don't respect myself because I'm playing the victim. And I hate not having my little boy with me.

Before the straw breaks the camel's back, I'm moving away. I don't know if it will be before the winter semester starts or after it ends. I'm still deciding on what place will be most affordable. Let me know what you guys think. Vote on a city from the list of places I've wanted to live in on the left.


MeganandClaudy said...

I'm missed your blog! But I'm totally not judging cuz I've been horrible about posting as well...I love what you said about my life and your life can be hard at the same doesn't have to be a contest...beautiful! I hate when I try and tell someone about my bad day and they automatically think they have to top it!

Christopher said...

I voted Chicago first, because Kathy and I will go there in February, and we'd love to visit you.

I also voted Boston, because the East coast has some great old bookstores, or so I hear.

I also voted LA, just in case I drop out of school and become an artist, and I end up in LA and need a place to crash.

I'm excited for you, and a little sad because I have a hard time with endings, and people moving away.

Kathy has a struggle similar to yours. She chronically lacks the energy to do what healthy people can do easily. She feels misunderstood, like a burning monk that people confuse with a polar bear. I told her that she should tell you about it, because she can empathize.

I can't. I'm one of those jerks who feels pretty great everyday no matter how much I exercise or how crummy I eat.

The most important things I've done this semester have had nothing to do with school. It's a lot overrated if you ask me.

Good luck. Let us know if you need ANYTHING. I think you're a great friend, even though I perhaps haven't put in the time to show you that.

Natalie Jane said...

one day the internet will blow up. and then everyone with a blog that they pour their heart and soul into will be very very sad.
im sorry you feel like you have to get out. at least move to seattle. you can stay with my parents and ill visit all the time.

kathy said...

I'm glad you're back.

I'm sorry you've felt crummy. Nothing like trying to suck it up when you can't. Today, I tried to do things I knew I had time for. But it took ages to get out of bed, and I couldn't do what I wanted, no matter how hard I pushed. It seemed kind of unfair to look around at people on campus, eating pop tarts and pringles, knowing that even though they don't take care of themselves, they don't feel like crap.

I don't know exactly what you're dealing with, but if there's anything we can do to help, will you let us know?

And if you move to San Francisco, promise me you'll visit the Legion of Honor Museum in Lincoln Park. It's my favorite.

Crystal said...

Why did you get an F on that math test? It looked pretty easy...